The life of Women in the Workplace and at Home Through a Half-Century

Women’s rights and equality have come a long way since the endangerment of the vintage American housewife. For years Women looked for a man for them because they needed them to provide a financial future for them and their potential family because of social constructs. Today, it is very common for Women to go to college and pursue a career and potentially get married to have a family because they want to, not because they have to. The difference is displayed through a generational gap in media. “The Feminine Mystique,” by Betty Friedan describes the troubles of Women getting married in High School in order to have a man that will provide for them as they raise the kids. Her perspective shows how Women felt like they had no purpose other than be someone who is there to help when called upon. Ali Wong in her stand-up comedy, “Baby Cobra,” describes the trouble of being a 33 year old women who got married to the man of her dreams and how she was able to “trap” him into marring her. Having the freedom to marry at any age changes the approach of how Women date, but certain characteristics of 1960’s femininity still hold strong. The key comparison between the two Women is the change in femininity, and the role of women in marriage.

            Femininity isn’t gone in 2016, but Women have come a long way since the initial definition as the  role of a house wife.

In Ali Wong’s stand-up special, she creates an image that femininity is a lost characteristic among today’s women through her open conversation with the crowd about her sex life prior to marriage and pregnancy. Yet, her explanation about “trapping” her Harvard graduate husband still has parallels to a house wife trying to find a man who is financially stable enough to provide for them.  Her words during her performance shows that everything feminist fought for is not what she wanted and that women would have it made if they kept playing dumb (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfz6Ha1hogo).  She does use heavy use of irony to make her point, but working as a Women in 2016 comes with complications. She describes how working a job has made so many more problems for her as a 33 year old pregnant women. In her twenties she would use plan-b every day and she described her uterus as a “smoker’s lung.”

To get pregnant she had to “push-pop” hormones into her vagina and at work the pill would dissolve into her underwear and she had to “pretend as if everything is o.k.” (Wong). The point she made seemed kind of harsh, but her point holds strong that the role of a women in fertility has become much harder with adding work on top of the difficulties of pregnancy. Her openness about fertility problems and her sex life is a whole new direction of femininity. Betty Friedan describes her experience of femininity in the 60’s and on as a women who wouldn’t pursue a career and would get married in their early 20’s. Getting married that young meant that women had very few sexual partners.  Today, Women are very open about their sexuality but still retain that sense of needing a man before they get too old. Ali Wong’s tactic of “trapping” her Harvard law husband was to gain financial dependence on him, but also would make him depend on her and emasculate him to the point that he didn’t feel like he could do better by leaving her (stated with thick irony). Now, she is performing stand-up comedy, which means that she is probably exaggerating her tactics to find a man but her ideals that she has to find a man before she gets too old seem to hold importance in today's society. Femininity has evolved immensely over the past 60 years, but some values still hold true today about women in today’s society. Personal opinion decides if this is for the better or worse.

            Ali Wong in her stand-up comedy is married to her Harvard law husband and was pregnant during her performance. 60 years ago that wouldn’t be the case. Betty Friedan interviewed several women describing their role as a wife to stay at home with feeling of not having a purpose anymore after having kids. Just existing to be there if someone needs something (Friedan). Doing house work among other things. This role has changed somewhat in 2016, but still has holds some value. Ali Wong’s 30’s are shockingly similar to the words described by Betty Friedan's interviewees, "I know I'm getting older because my Kindle is turning into a self-help library... That's what your 30's is all about: I'm a terrible person. How can I turn this shit around?" (Wong). Potentially, being a house wife wasn’t the problem in the first place, and Women and Men struggle to find their purpose in an ever growing society that makes them feel unimportant. Ali Wong works as a writer for a television show "Fresh Off the Boat," and does stand-up comedy. Quite a successful career, yet she still feels the change of feeling unimportant.

The ideal difference between her and women in the 1960’s is that she wants to be a house wife. She feels that Women had it made back in the day and feminism ruined their gift. They just had to play dumb, but Women felt that they had to prove that they could do everything a man could do (Wong). Her perspective shows that maybe some Women didn’t want to work, but the Women that did want to work changed society in their favor and didn’t think about the Women who would rather stay at home. Now, most households need both spouses to work to afford standard of living. 

         Ali Wong’s thick use of irony and exaggeration illustrates how the role of Women in society is much more complex. Many can argue that they have found purpose in their lives with more opportunities or that life is more stressful in a relationship. During a pregnancy a man can only help so much. At the end of the day the Women carries the baby all nine months, no objections. The difference between Ali Wong and Betty Friedan is that Women have the social choice to further their education, stay at home and be a house wife, or whatever they want to be. Society has changed immensely to welcome women into the workplace, but more effort has to be made to accommodate women in the work place as well as their responsibilities at home. For example, maternity leave.  The key change is femininity. The social acceptance to a Woman’s openness about their happiness, sexuality and other daily factors allow for their voice to be heard and decisions to be made. 

References:

Friedan, Betty. "The Problem That Has No Name." The Feminine Mystique. New York: W.W. Norton,     1963. 15-32. Print.

Salo, Counter. "Ali Wong : Baby Cobra HD 2016 - Ali Wong Special Show." YouTube. YouTube, 17 Aug. 2016. Web. 26 Sept. 2016.

Wong, Ali. "Watch Ali Wong: Baby Cobra Online | Netflix." Watch Ali Wong: Baby Cobra Online | Netflix. Netflix, 26 Sept. 2016. Web. 26 Sept. 2016.